The craziness of motherhood was a shock for me. I didn’t realize that it was possible for a person to experience so many emotions at the same time and still stay sane. Sometimes I still wonder if it is possible… 😉
It was/is also hard for me to find the “joy” in motherhood all the time. This makes me feel like I am going insane most of all because how can I not enjoy taking care of the little people I love the most? What I’ve come to realize though is how important it is to not mix “joy” with “fun”. Joy is long lasting, fun is fleeting. Joy is found in the love that I have for my kids. Fun moments will come and go but they are definitely there. These are a few phrases I’ve started saying to myself whenever I’m not finding it fun.
The day isn’t over yet. This is really helpful when I’ve attempted to clean the kitchen 50 times and failed, or when I have been looking forward to doing something but it keeps getting interrupted by the kids. Sometimes I also have to remind myself “the week isn’t over yet” or “the year isn’t over yet” or “my life isn’t over yet”.
The sun will come out tomorrow. I’ve recently discovered that my son LOVES when I sing this song from the musical Annie. And guess what? I do to! It does wonders to brighten my mood and remind me that sometimes I’m not really having a bad day, I just have a bad five minutes that I’m milking the entire day.
Family is the only thing that will last forever. This is something I have always known and believed, but have only recently realized how amazing and important it is. Because adding a second child to our family has made life that much crazier, I have recently decided to dissolve my videography business. I’ve also had some really close friends move away. I was getting really depressed that life/motherhood required so much change. Why did I have to give up talents and skills that I worked so hard for to make time for my kids? Why did I even try to make friends anymore if they just end up leaving my life? Why couldn’t I find a hobby or friends that would be a part of my life forever? After a few meltdowns (sorry husband!) it finally hit me that I had it all backwards. I wasn’t seeing my family for the blessing that they were. My kids and my husband are the only things that will be a part of my life forever and that is why I want to give them all my time and focus.
The mess isn’t going anywhere. This phrase helps me remember that it’s okay to enjoy the moment even when you have a messy house. Sometimes I get (really) stressed if the house isn’t clean when my husband comes home from work and he wants to do something spontaneous. I usually count on him coming in and holding the baby so I can actually have a moment with two hands. The mess isn’t going anywhere though. We can go grab ice cream and guess what? When we get back it’ll still be there and I’ll probably be happy and refreshed enough to get it clean.
I need help. In correlation with the phrase above though, it doesn’t hurt to learn to say “I need help” cleaning the house before we get ice cream. Or I need help holding the baby. Or I need help feeling good about myself. Or I need help seeing the good today. Or I need help getting extra sleep. There are probably more people in your life than you even realize who would be willing to help you out. All you need to do is ask!
What do you say to yourself to help brighten your day?